* Put on your glasses. Double check that your partner is actually in bed with you.
* Set timer for 10 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
* Set the mood with lighting. Turn them ALL OFF!
* Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
* Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.
* Keep extra Polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up under the bed.
* Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.
* Make all the noise you want. The neighbors are deaf too.
* If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.
* Don't even think about trying it twice.
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