Saturday, May 5, 2007

Seniors' sex guide

* Put on your glasses. Double check that your partner is actually in bed with you.

* Set timer for 10 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

* Set the mood with lighting. Turn them ALL OFF!

* Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

* Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.

* Keep extra Polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

* Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.

* Make all the noise you want. The neighbors are deaf too.

* If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.

* Don't even think about trying it twice.

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