You can't have sex without a permit here!

* In Ventura County, California, cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.

* If a police officer in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, suspects a couple is having sex inside a vehicle they must honk their horn three times, and wait two minutes before being allowed to approach the scene.

* A law in Oblong, Illinois makes it a crime to make love while fishing or hunting on your wedding day.

* In Ames Iowa a husband may not take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with his wife.

* A law in Alexandria, Minnesota makes it illegal for a husband to make love to his wife if his breath smells like garlic, onions, or sardines.

* A Helena, Montana law states that a woman cannot dance on a saloon table unless her clothing weights more than three pounds, two ounces.

* Hotel owners in Hastings, Nebraska are required by law to provide a clean, white cotton nightshirt to each guest. According to the law, no couple may have sex unless they are wearing the nightshirts.

* Any couple making out inside a vehicle, and accidentally sounding the horn during their lustful act, may be taken to jail according to a Liberty Corner, New Jersey law.

* During lunch breaks in Carlsbad, New Mexico, no couple should engage in a sexual act while parked in their vehicle, unless their car has curtains.

* In Nevada sex without a condom is considered illegal.

* In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth.

* Hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, are required by law to furnish their rooms with twin beds only. There should be a minimum of two feet between the beds, and it is illegal for a couple to make love on the floor between the beds.

* In Kingsville, Texas, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property.

* A Tremonton, Utah law states that no woman is allowed to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance. In addition to normal charges, the woman's name will be published in the local newspaper. The man does not receive any punishment.

* In the state of Washington there is a law against having sex with a virgin under any circumstances. (including the wedding night)

* In Connorsville, Wisconsin no man shall shoot of a gun while his female partner is having a sexual orgasm.

* The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is the missionary-style position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal. (So this is how they plan on getting Clinton).